The day the world changed

September 11, 2001 started similar to most of my days. I was a new mom, and had just started working again, this time from home, and had gotten into some kind of a routine. I would get up, check my e-mail and sort through my PO's to prioritize my day. Miss B would wake up hungry and I would get her up and nurse her while watching the local news. This morning, Miss B slept a little longer than normal, so I decided to go check my pregnancy turned new moms internet message board. The top comment said "NOW THEY ARE SAYING IT MIGHT BE TERRORISTS!!!??" huh? under that, "OMG- a second plane just hit the second tower!" then a quick skim down the page filled me in enough to totally comfuse me- one woman could see smoke from her apartment windows, everyone had their eyes glued to the news and was reporting every new detail or suggestion... I quickly called Sam over and started telling him what they were saying as if for him to verify it couldn't be true, it had to be a joke? We went and turned on the TV and there were the smoking towers- we had missed seeing the second one hit by minutes but they were replaying it in slow motion and speculating. The day went on, and you all know the rest... Sam eventually had to go to work, I held Miss B tighter and cried a lot that day, and was thankful to have her company. I couldn't turn my TV off. I was afraid I would miss something. I saw the smoke at the Pentagon. I saw them clear the airspace grid. I remember getting a call that was work related and it was offensive that someone could be thinking about making money on a day like this. The most vivid image of the day was a man running away from the clouds of dust, carrying a small baby and pulling some cloth over it's face- a baby the same age as mine was at the time.

My intuitive mother in law said she woke up that morning and looked at her blank, turned off television, and thought, today the world is going to change. And then she laughed at the seemingly silly thought. But in many ways it did, at least, the world as we saw it changed. On September 10th, 2001 we never would have considered ourselves naive, but we were. We didn't think that the problems in the world around us could touch us (if we were even aware of them) And then suddenly they did.

Suddenly we had to worry about things we never thought about. For years I had nightmares of planes dropping out of the sky. I couldn't see a low flying plane without my stomach dropping. I was afraid of my mail- remember the anthrax threats? I would immediately go through my mail and pull out what I needed and toss the rest, and then quickly wash my hands. One day Miss B found a catalog and was joyfully ripping through the pages and trying to fit it in her mouth and I was stressed about it for days. It could have touched something, that touched something, that was tained with anthrax! I know I worry too much, and watching the news is no help, but if I didn't watch it one day, I was afraid something like this would happen again, and I wouldn't know! (would it matter?)

So today I remember how 9-11 affected me, but more importantly, the innocent people, who were just doing their job, the families who kissed their fathers and mothers, husbands, wives and brothers good-bye that morning expecting to see them later that day. I remember the fire fighters who had to go into those burning buildings, and didn't get to come back out. Remember them and their families in your prayers today! Remember the military and their families whose life courses were altered on that day as well! Pray for our country, pray for the leaders of our country, and pray for the leaders around the world.